IN Starf***s
You say, “restraining order.” We say, “playing hard to get.” Philly may be building quite the roster of feature films shot on location but we certainly can’t seem to adopt a Hollywood-style blasé when it comes to celebrities, like Reese Witherspoon (with the delicious Jake Gyllenhaal in tow) who was staying on the Main Line during summer shooting for a James L. Brooks film. Parc diners sent rounds of drinks over to co-star Owen Wilson in Rittenhouse, and even Elton John devoted a number to Reese Witherspoon in his Citizens Bank Park concert. As for us, we can neither confirm nor deny having mailed Paul Rudd a certain item of La Perla lingerie
OUT Starbucks
Ever think you could probably travel to Central America to pick and roast your own coffee beans in the time it takes to get that triple-shot, non-fat, caramel macchiato? Someone at Starbucks finally noticed. Their solution: Mr. Potato Head. That’s right, among efforts to boost efficiency at the country’s top caffeinator, experts are timing managers as they assemble and box the dolls. We were thinking that timing employees as they assembled, I dunno, lattes, might be more productive.

IN APRIL
She was a food writer, and he was a chef—truly, it was a match made in kitchen. Now, April Lisante (formerly of the Daily News) and husband Christian Gatti (ex-White Dog and Audrey Claire) share their love, and their food, with the rest of us via Avril, a cozy little BYOB featuring fresh-baked breads and innovative cuisine evocative of southern France and northern Italy. With a $25 prix fixe, how could we say non? (134 Bala Ave., Bala Cynwyd, 610-667-2626)
OUT MARCH
So much for Revolutionary War re-enactments—and just about everything else at the Brandywine Battlefield at Chadds Ford. State employees were given their marching orders this summer due to a budget crunch; the state declared the park and all of its facilities shuttered indefinitely. Now, volunteer groups are trying to staff the park on their own—an effort worthy of a 21-gun salute.

IN SWITCH HITTING
Senator Arlen Specter has always been something of a wild card. But now, some think his party-swapping ways have opened the door for Rep. Joe Sestak to unseat him in the senate for the first time in 30 years. It may be a long shot, but at least it should keep things interesting. Sure, it’s no Argentine sex scandal, but with the Fumo trial over and Fast Eddy doing hard time in Harrisburg, we’ll take whatever excitement we can get.
OUT BATTING FOR THE OTHER TEAM
That’s at least according to Rick Santorum, the notable gay-slamming politico who has been recently (alarmingly?) in the news once again, surprising a generation of college students who now assume that he was named after the alt-weeklies’ “Savage Love” column. The former senator attracted attention with a public visit to Iowa, framed by the comment that he’s “very concerned about what’s going on in America right now.” That makes the both of us.

IN SUGAR
There’s a certain optimism in opening a store in exactly the same place where a previous shop—of the exact same nature—recently shut its doors. And so we have to hand it to Gumdrops and Sprinkles, (155 E. Lancaster Ave. Wayne, 610-254-8409), the candy shop that replaced Ricky’s Candy, Cones and Chaos. It’s hard to say if candy is recession-proof, per se, although there does seem to be an inverse relationship between employment and Snickers consumption in our recent experience. Regardless, we wish Gumdrops only sunshine and lollipops from here on out.
OUT SACCHARINE
Dear Mitch Albom: Your heart is probably in the right place, but Tuesdays with Morrie was so sappy it actually gave us a toothache. We think it’s cool that you’re coming back home to the Philly area to release your new book Have a Little Faith, with a charitable event (Sept. 29 at the Bellevue) to benefit Project H.O.M.E. But given that the new book, a deathbed dialogue with on Rabbi Albert Lewis, sounds like it ought to be called Wednesdays with Al, forgive us if we skip the signing and send a check.

IN SECOND CHANCES
Not to bring up old demons, but we can see why Eagles coach Andy Reid would be a guy who understands the virtue of a second chance. Still, erstwhile dog fight operator, current Eagles recruit Michael Vick may not be the person to restore honor to Philadelphia sports. On the other hand, if word that he’s been looking at homes in Bryn Mawr is true, we’d be willing to let bygones be bygones for season tickets and an invite to his next barbecue. We will, however, be keeping Spike indoors.
OUT SLOPPY SECONDS
Here’s hoping that Azie on Main—in the old upstairs space at Villanova’s Maia—will be anything but. We’re glad the owners of Thai Pepper/Mikado and Flavor seem to have retained the gorgeous decor at Patrick and Terence Feury’s failed Lancaster Avenue white elephant, and we can’t wait to try of the new some global Asian fusion.

IN OBSESSIVE
We know you love to exercise so much you’ve begun canoodling with your personal trainer just to get free sessions. But really, you’re not doing all you can unless you squeeze yourself into a Smartslip, the creation by the Wayne-based mom-trepreneurs at FitnessUWear. The $42-$46 garment is designed to tone your legs, hips and glutes by creating resistance with every movement. Get the skinny at banglz.com.
OUT MANIAC
Reports this summer indicated that Radnor Commissioner Lisa Paolino was talking of stepping down to join fiance and musician Michael Sembello in new international music project that would involve concerts performed around the world. We’re thinking that, as much as we loved Flashdance, a “Maniac”-free set list may be in order.

IN BUNS
From burger wasteland to char-grilled abundance, the Main Line suddenly has more ground beef offerings than we know what to do with. First Virginia-based chain Elevation Burger opened up in Wynnewood (50 E. Wynnewood Rd.), peddling organic beef from grass-fed, free-range cows and french fries cooked in olive oil. Then, Downingtown got all up in our grill with Doghouse Gourmet Burgers (24. E. Lancaster Ave.), featuring local ingredients, Angus beef burgers and a beer and wine list to boot.
OUT CANS
Sure, those watchdog types are complaining that there’s something fishy about Gov. Ed Rendell’s decision to award a contract for supermarket wine kiosks to Simple Brands, a Bala Cynwyd company run by a few of his buddies and major campaign donors. We’re just happy to think that there may be a time when a 10 p.m. alcohol purchase may not be restricted to cans of Colt 45 from the corner deli. Not that we would know.

IN LAP DOGS
Given the fact that pitcher Cole Hamels is currently the only Phillies starter to have been spotted around town rocking a tiny dog in his backpack, Paris Hilton style, we already consider him an honorary Mainliner. Now, Cole and wife, ex Playboy cover girl Heidi Strobel have been seen looking at a $2.2 million Newtown Square home. We think you’ll be very happy here. Just keep your dog away from Michael Vick.
OUT LAP OF LUXURY
Speaking of lavish homes, we can’t get enough of the story of Berwyn’s Dorothy and Ralph Mirarchi. It’s an age-old tale: Man marries woman, man steals millions from clients, judge offers leniency in return for restitution of victims’ losses, woman decides she’s not sure the man is worth giving up the $1.9 million shore house. Yes, it’s always nice to revisit the classics.

IN TRUTH
No one ever really could seem to get to the bottom of the collapse of Carmines Creole Café. So perhaps it’s for the best that owner Howard Taylor has revamped the space as Verdad (818 W. Lancaster Ave., Bryn Mawr), in partnership with Farina. The Latin-infused small plates, tequila and wine bar may be just what Bryn Mawr needs anyway—to tell the truth.
OUT FICTION
That is, unless you’re talking about Love Park, Jim Zervanos’ story of family secrets, Greek-American tradition, romance and scandal, set locally in Philadelphia. The Media high school English teacher and Philly resident garnered acclaim this summer with his debut novel.

IN PALM BEACH
Nope, we’re not talking about Lilly Pulitzer for once. (As if she was ever “out”!) We mean the Spanish-style 1929 Bryn Mawr mansion La Ronda, designed by famed Florida architect Addison Mizner and slated for demolition by an, ahem, nouveau owner. Fortunately, a Palm Beach resident has announced tentative hopes to move the home to another Main Line location where it could preserved. Meanwhile, we’re pretty excited about the plans to trash that old cracked bell Philly has laying around and replace it with some nice new loudspeakers.
OUT JERSEY SHORE
Shore season’s over, ladies. It’s time to put that oh-so-trendy “topless bikini”—a.k.a. half a swimsuit—aside for the year. Anyway, what with the rabbinical FBI stings, the traffic jams and the frankly tacky attire we couldn’t help noticing in Atlantic City, we’re pretty much ready to pack in the shore house and settle in for fall on the Main Line.